second try

Saturday, June 25, 2011


For any mom (or human!), choices confront us every day. Will you get your work done or take that nap? How will you take care of your child's education? What are you making for dinner? What battle will you be unmovable on, and which ones do you choose to let go without a fight? Will you take that job? How will you pay the bills when the unexpected happens? Some things are easy, like deciding what to wear in the morning and pouring milk into a cup for a smiling baby.  Other things produce tears, agony and soul searching. Some decisions are momentary, some monumental. Some are temporal, some eternal.

Today I am pondering the choices I have made, and the places they are taking me to. In 2004 I made one big one- I asked God to open my eyes. I have not been able to close them since. I have learned a lot since then. At that time I was single and I had never birthed or lost a child. I was bound only to the word and wind of God. Today I am bound by cords of love to a wonderful husband, a little one growing up in heaven whom we named, two beauties on earth whose laughter I love and a new one growing in the safe place I chose to give him in my womb. Yet I am living this life with eyes wide open. I chose, I asked to see. Many places I look in our culture I see eugenics speaking up, eugenics shaping the culture, even the culture of the church. And so I am finally speaking up.

I love the word of God, I love life and I hate death. That means I hate eugenics. I hate it because it destroys, it robs, it discriminates and it always ends up killing. It violates human worth, every time. Some people think it died in the 1940's but I have learned too much to blindly accept that. It simply isn't factual historically. I think I will lose some friends because sometimes it is easier to loathe the messenger than the facts we don't want to know about. But I used to be blind, and God's truth set me free. If one person could get free from the pull of eugenics because of my voice then that is enough for me. Even if no one does, the weight of responsibility is on me to speak up, and by doing so I can be at peace with God.

Today I was thinking of the saying, "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil." Although it is often repeated, often photographed even, it isn't the thing a Christian should follow. Scripture tells us to be innocent of that which is evil. It never says be ignorant of it. Living with eyes wide open can be a tough road. There are things I wish I didn't know because I hate evil. It always hurts people. But with ears wide open we can hear what is wrong, see what needs to be fixed and how to fix it and use our voices to end it. No matter the outcome, I figure it is a good choice, a monumental and eternal one.

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